Monday, March 05, 2012

A Song For the Buckeyes, Super Tuesday & Rush Limbaugh

Rush & His Pussy
With both sides of my brain tied behind my back, I wrote this song back during the Clinton years.  The story goes out to my buckeye friends and seems just right for super duper Tuesday and all the Rush Limbaugh hubbub.

Whole Lotta Choice (Lost in Cleveland)

Whole Lotta Choice (Lost In Cleveland)
From "Most Requested" found in the store here
(C) & (P) Bunj Jam-BMI

Three strikes and you’re out
Two strikes and you’re a little bit down
One strike might send a king off to play golf
That same strike might send a pauper
A much lessor offer

But what if one strike went right to your pretty daughter’s face?
She’d have to hide that mark when she wanted to go anyplace
Way back when things were a bit more fair
The only care in her world
Was the perfect curl in her hair
And how the boys would stare

Must have had a friend
Must have had all kinds of friends
Once had a voice
And a whole lotta choice

Now I was leaving a show one night in Cleveland Ohio
My right hand was fishing around my car’s interior for a map
And the next thing you know
Instead of going down 90 South
I was destined to go up and get a drink
Out of a lake at the upper end of the state

Now I could’ve been driving just about anyplace
There was paint rotting off the houses and holes in the streets
There were beer cans along the curb
And about every other block I could see
The bright green
Squeaky clean sign that read “BP”
Like a light watching over me

So I drove up to get directions and a big bag of potato chips
But the door was locked and the speaker was broken
So we had to read each other’s lips
And man I thought I’d thanked that lady kindly
But just about then she flipped me the bird
And when I looked down in that sliding metal box
I saw a small container of paper clips
She didn’t see a single word

Must have had a friend
Must have had all kinds of friends
Once had a voice
And a whole lotta choice

Now I don’t know about the land of the free
But I can see the home of the brave
It’s behind bullet proof plastic
At a BP Station in Cleveland
So I got in my car with no more sense of direction
Than when I arrived at that service-less station

It was just about then that I met my escort
Came in the form of a police car, the finest in Ohio
He said what’s a white West Virginia boy doing
Driving a Geo, at 1 AM  in the Cleveland ghetto

I filled him in on my show and everything else I thought he’d like to know
I said, I’m trying to connect up with I-90 South
He said,  Follow me boy, I’ll direct you out
And man I thought I’d seen it all
When I saw a lady sleeping in the street
While I was cranking up my heat
And tuned into a re-broadcast of Rush Limbaugh

Must have had a friend
Must have had all kinds of friend
Once had a voice
Must have made that her choice

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