A Song For the Buckeyes, Super Tuesday & Rush Limbaugh

Rush & His Pussy

With both sides of my brain tied behind my back, I wrote this song back during the Clinton years.  The story goes out to my buckeye friends and seems just right for super duper Tuesday and all the Rush Limbaugh hubbub.

Whole Lotta Choice (Lost in Cleveland)
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Whole Lotta Choice (Lost In Cleveland)
From "Most Requested" found in the store here www.toddburge.com
(C) & (P) Bunj Jam-BMI

Three strikes and you’re out

Two strikes and you’re a little bit down

One strike might send a king off to play golf

That same strike might send a pauper

A much lessor offer

But what if one strike went right to your pretty daughter’s face?

She’d have to hide that mark when she wanted to go anyplace

Way back when things were a bit more fair

The only care in her world

Was the perfect curl in her hair

And how the boys would stare

Must have had a friend

Must have had all kinds of friends

Once had a voice

And a whole lotta choice

Now I was leaving a show one night in Cleveland Ohio

My right hand was fishing around my car’s interior for a map

And the next thing you know

Instead of going down 90 South

I was destined to go up and get a drink

Out of a lake at the upper end of the state

Now I could’ve been driving just about anyplace

There was paint rotting off the houses and holes in the streets

There were beer cans along the curb

And about every other block I could see

The bright green

Squeaky clean sign that read “BP”

Like a light watching over me

So I drove up to get directions and a big bag of potato chips

But the door was locked and the speaker was broken

So we had to read each other’s lips

And man I thought I’d thanked that lady kindly

But just about then she flipped me the bird

And when I looked down in that sliding metal box

I saw a small container of paper clips

She didn’t see a single word

Must have had a friend

Must have had all kinds of friends

Once had a voice

And a whole lotta choice

Now I don’t know about the land of the free

But I can see the home of the brave

It’s behind bullet proof plastic

At a BP Station in Cleveland

So I got in my car with no more sense of direction

Than when I arrived at that service-less station

It was just about then that I met my escort

Came in the form of a police car, the finest in Ohio

He said what’s a white West Virginia boy doing

Driving a Geo, at 1 AM  in the Cleveland ghetto

I filled him in on my show and everything else I thought he’d like to know

I said, I’m trying to connect up with I-90 South

He said,  Follow me boy, I’ll direct you out

And man I thought I’d seen it all

When I saw a lady sleeping in the street

While I was cranking up my heat

And tuned into a re-broadcast of Rush Limbaugh

Must have had a friend

Must have had all kinds of friend

Once had a voice

Must have made that her choice